A week of tears

In my sophomore year of high school I took  American Government and Politics AP. As a total science person this class was something I just took to learn. I actually enjoy the class- it was with a small group of my friends and whenever we finished our classwork early we watched The O.C. Even the guys in my class watched! I enjoyed this class until after we took our midterm. The exam was 70 multiple choice questions and after I finished I joined the rest of my classmates who were setting up a card game.

Two days later in the middle of my English class my American Gov teacher pulled me out of class and told me that he knew that I had cheated on the midterm.

His reasons:

1) He hands out the answer keys every year- and because I had older friends I clearly had gotten my hands on them

2) I was HAPPY when I finished the exam.

3) I got questions right that he had not covered in class.

4) My grade on the exam was a C

This was 5 years ago and can still feel the tears as I type this out.

I had to go to a meeting with my guidance counselor who told me that there was nothing I could do to prove that I was innocent. The teacher had been working here for years and no one would believe me.

This was the first time something like this had happened to me. There was no way I had cheated on the exam and I could not even even prove it. It was his word against mine.

I even had my parents come in for a meeting- they were told the same thing. I should not make a big deal about this, otherwise my teacher would write a letter to my future college telling them about my academic mis conduct.

(Looking back I can see that they just told me this to make me go away)

I had the option of dropping the class- with a grade of an F or staying in the class and get a final grade of a C no matter how well I did on any other assignment.

I stayed in the class. My teacher did not even look at me. I would raise my hand to go to the bathroom and I was ignored. I left the class in tears everyday.

This was a big deal to me- I was well liked by everyone and to have someone especially a teacher treat me this way was awful.

I no longer wanted to go to school and my parents understood and let me stay home until I felt better about going.

The only person who I could talk to was my English teacher and she believed me- even after I graduated high school I would still e-mail her for advice. Sadly she lost her battle with Colon cancer last spring- I sometimes wish I could e-mail her for advice. I really do miss her.

5 years later: I wish I could have said something. Even now I still find it difficult to stand up for myself when I am in a situation where I am not treated the way I want to be.

I need to remid myself that I do have a voice and that I can use it!

I need to end this post this is a major tear subject for me.

I hope everyone is having a lovely Valentine’s day!

Thanks to everyone for their lovely comments on my last post <3

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15 Responses to A week of tears

  1. Sara K says:

    Wow, I can only imagine how frustrating that is- it made me angry just reading it!
    I’m sorry to hear about your teacher’s passing :(…and I hope you have a good v-day :)

  2. heather says:

    Oh, sweet girl!! I’m sorry you had to go through all of this! How hard this would be for ANYONE, especially a high schooler!

    Remember that this experience has a paved the way for who you are today. You have learned from it, even if its hard to see that sometimes!

    This is so relatable to a lot of people, I’m sure! So many of us have been accused of things we had no part of, and its so hard when the people accusing us are our superiors whom we are taught to obey and respect! It can leave us with a slew of confusing emotions and I commend you for putting your story out there- sharing this is a big part of healing. :) xoxoxoxox

  3. Mari says:

    WOW that teacher was an ASSHOLE! I am sorry that you had to go through something like that. It’s crazy how something so negative can stick with us…I hope you are feeling better love!

  4. Ameena says:

    What a horrible thing to go through! I am really surprised that nobody believed you since it was basically your word against the teachers.

    Hopefully now that you’ve written about it you can feel a little better about putting it in the past. Sometimes writing about something is the best way to get it off your chest!

  5. biz319 says:

    Some teachers are just assholes – I would just chalk it up to that! While I am sure it was difficult at the time, you need to hold your head up high and move on.

    My daughter thought of trying out for the softball team at her high school – she was really good. She went to the camp in the summer and really liked it, until she found out the coach wouldn’t let you do anything BUT softball!

    Practice before school, after school, weekends, etc. She told the coach that she didn’t want to put all her eggs in one basket – and ever since then, the teacher has COMPLETELY ignored her.

    Hannah is a senior now and to this day, when she walks by this teacher Hannah will say “Hi Mrs. Miller!” and Mrs. Miller will turn her head and look the other way.

    On a happy note, hope you have a great Valentine’s Day!

  6. This sounds like a traumatizing experience. I’m so sorry to hear about it. I actually had a similar thing happen to me, and it was really demoralizing.

    I’m also sorry to hear about your English teacher.

  7. That’s a horrible thing for someone to do to a student. I don’t know why people have to be so evil. Its so frustrating when people are just bad people! Its challenging to deal with and I never feel like I did what needed to be done at that time. If only there were clearer answers on how things like this should be handled.

  8. kbwood says:

    i am so so sorry, this is so sad.
    you are so strong and have been through so much!
    i hate it when ppl jump to conclusions.
    you are awesome!

  9. Karla says:

    What a horrible teacher!
    I’m so sad this happened to you! What’s done is done. I know it’s tough to hear that but there’s nothing you can do about it now. I’m sure now you’re a stronger person because of this.
    Make this week a week of smiles!

  10. Bekah says:

    Oh my goodness what a horrible, unfortunate situation. My heart goes out to my dear, seriously. Even five years ago- no matter what, that sucks and it will be something you carry around with you forever. My only words of encouragement would be to not let this past experience forbid you from doing or participating in the things you love most about school. Be the best student you can be, and be yourself, and I don’t think this will ever happen again.

    love you! XO

  11. Shelley (findinghappinessandhealth) says:

    oh my god, that is horrible. You do not deserve that AT ALL. I can’t believe your teache rwould do that- I am so sorry :( Please remember you are strong and deserve to stand up for yourself. It can be hard, but i know you can do it.

    xoxo
    shelley
    http://findinghappinessandhealth.wordpress.com

  12. Kelly says:

    Wow! I can’t imagine a teacher doing that! I am so sorry that experience happened to you. I hope that you use that experience as motivation to really stand up for yourself in the future. You deserve it.

    Also, just read your post below. Congrats on all the progress you have made and as I said yesterday, a million congrats on running! Some day I’ll be there with you :)

  13. Jacquie says:

    Hi,

    I have given you a Beautiful Blogger Award! Yay! See it here and then pass it to others…
    http://sweetestthingdc.wordpress.com/2010/03/01/beautiful-blogger-award/

    Have fun! <3

  14. oh! i wrote about this a few days ago too…it’s so important to speak up when you truly believe in something. this was a powerful post. you were treated so unfairly! i’m so sorry that your english teacher passed away, she sounded like a wonderful person

  15. Sophia Reynolds says:

    Hi, I’m a new reader and I dunno, but something about your post made it seem like the accusations and his treatment of you were racially motivated. A friend of mine had a similar(like really similar) experience during elementary school where the teacher ignored her or deliberately picked on her because of her ethnicity!